Karma - what goes around, comes around

                   Life is a Boomerang, you get what you give (a return gift in this lifetime). 

Be aware of what you give to others, you may not like to get the same bitter gifts you gave to others. 

Well, Karma is an interesting topic and we all know how it works but people are reserved to discuss about it. The very special treatment of Karma is it returns your favour in this lifetime only. If you have helped someone at any point of your lifetime, the almighty will definitely send the best of his helping Angels to help you and vice versa. 

In this write-up, I am finding it difficult to pen words as a third person as I have so much to share here from my personal experience.  I have been always vocal about everything that has happened in my life. Kept things as far as transparent but those ears betrayed me. No, I don't have trust issues. I again trust new poeple and get betrayed again. Karma again!!!

What do you think I have done?  I tried pleasing them on and on but not anymore. I deserve better people in my life. 

I do not blame anyone for it but me. May be it is my bad karma that I have to see and deal with such people around me. From being vocal it means I talk about gender equality and it has nothing to do with a daughter in law only (issued in public interest). I am concern only with gender equality and not only a girl. There are boys I know personally are exposed to exploitation and humiliation etc. 

I tried my best to change people's mentality and their perception to see a woman specially but their upbringing is to be blamed for. My late mother was biased towards her only son (my elder brother). Later in life, she experienced so much that her perception changed towards a Son and a Daughter. We come from such society where girl gets married off immediately she completes her SSC or HSC. My mother pushed us to study and become something in life. There was no discrimination between the children. I feel proud to say that we siblings are the most educated in our entire family which belongs to this generation. In-fact I top the chart and that was only possible because of my family. Though, we were raised with equal love, affection and morals. My Father also realised his elder daughter (my sister) is no less than a boy when she was only 16 years old. She is the pillar of our family. Well, I had an amazing childhood because of my brother and sister. They made sure I get all that they were deprived of. I was privileged enough to wear new clothes on my all birthdays and cut a cake with friends, family etc.  

The above story has nothing to do with Karma topic but it is. My parents found it little difficult to meet up the regular expenses with education and they took financial help from few family friends during our education process. Those who have helped us, are doing so well in life. Some of their children are Doctors, Lawyers, Engineers, Accountants and happily living their life with dignity and self-respect. I see karma playing a great role here. Later, my mother also helped family friends and their families with financial and emotional support too. Believe me it is all karma. My mother passed away peacefully with less pain. I have seen people struggling with so many health issues and still not dying.

Initial times, some people duped my mother with money and further I don't want to talk about. Karma did the work for them. We just prayed for their safe recovery. Karma just comes in any form to you. 

It can be a friend, family member, relative, colleague or just a stranger. So be humble, wise and smart when you deal with people. Even when you lie about someone, you invite karma. You lie to cover up your mistake and blame others. What kind of satisfaction did you get doing such? I guess their ego gets satisfied.  

My personal experience says, do good to others and good will come to you. How much it takes to do good to someone? You say good about someone, someone elsewhere is appreciating you. Simple, isn't it?

Pic courtesy: google search - shutterstock.com

Beziehung - How to handle relationships

It is quite dangerous to be in a relationship with multiple partners but it takes your life away (read breathe) if you do not handle your relationship with your relatives. They are boon in disguise. They come in various forms like parents, siblings, spouse, partner, in laws, aunts, uncles, sis/bro in laws, co sis and many many more. 

How you should be learning to handle relationships - Do not become too friendly with anyone (not even your immediate relatives, they are most dangerous). They take undue advantage of your weaknesses and make you the culprit. 

How to handle relationships?

1. Do not be too friendly with anybody (especially when you doubt someone)

2. Just be the random person for them, do not be the scapegoat for anybody.

3. Avoid sending them personal messages (oh my god, some of them do not understand your language and interpret it differently)

4. Do not target them on social media in any means. 

5. Have the pleasure of getting blocked by the morons but do not block anybody. 

6. Last but not the least,  accept your mistake and believe in Karma. 

How to set yourself free from them?

1. Ignore them. Initially it will be too difficult to ignore them as you may start getting angry hearing their names or having their presence around you. This is just a phase. Do not increase your blood pressure level. They won't suffer but your health will. Just relax and meditate. 

2. Keep yourselves busy in activities that makes you happy. You never know someday your extra curricular activity will make your insanely famous.

3. Avoid thinking about them.  Ah, that too difficult if they have hurt you and made you but declared you the culprit. Conspiracy! 

Just do not think, think about yourself, your loved ones (but what if that person was your loved one once??? - forgive and forget. Do forgiveness. Ask them for forgiveness of your mistakes by simply closing your eyes and also forgive them for their mistakes). 

4. Now you are really entering the difficult phase of this journey of abandoning by people. So if they abandon you, make new friends or continue with your bunch of friends. After all, its said that friends are more than family. Its proved in my case always be it my mother's funeral or my marriage or anytime I need them. They are just one phone call away!

5. Believe me, nobody things wrong or bad for you. You think about it often and end up losing your own patience. Let then live (leave) too. 

If you have failed in a relationship and do not want that person back in your life, stop thinking about him/her. We all make multiple mistakes and we are all child of God. If you make mistake, say sorry or ask for apology and do not keep any burden for your last day of life. This is the most difficult pain you will have. 

How relationships work? 

Talk talk and talk!

Two people should come together and talk with each other to clear their differences rather than communicating through someone who is having hidden agenda behind your fight. Talk like two mature people and sort out the differences. We often fail to do that due to many emotional reasons and sometimes its is psychological too. Decide if you want to stay in a relationship with that person or move on. It could with your partner, spouse, siblings, in laws, co sis, friends, colleagues and every person who is attached or related to you.

All the best. Do share your experiences with us in our comment section. 

Pic courtesy: pinterest 

LETS CHANGE IT.....: LETS CHANGE IT.....: Marriage Journey (Part I)

LETS CHANGE IT.....: LETS CHANGE IT.....: Marriage Journey (Part I)

LETS CHANGE IT.....: Marriage Journey (Part I)

LETS CHANGE IT.....: Marriage Journey (Part I): Let us talk about Arrange marriage… Marriages are made in heaven and celebrated on earth – Anonymous (quoted ...

LETS CHANGE IT.....: Marriage Journey (Part I)

LETS CHANGE IT.....: Marriage Journey (Part I)

Marriage Journey (Part I)

Let us talk about Arrange marriage…

Marriages are made in heaven and celebrated on earth – Anonymous (quoted since ages)

In India, we have different states, religions, caste etc. Here, Marriage is between two families. When it comes to marriage, you have relatives who turn out to be your biggest enemy. Friends become your savior by advising on how to handle such situations. Also, it depends on what category your friends falls into. Married or Unmarried. It is obvious married friend will drag you to her side and unmarried (single) will give you tips/advantages of being single. The most dangerous are unmarried who in a relationship. They are already struggling for their own marriage and if you go asking for advise, you may simply get a negative feedback if you are planning to opt for arrange marriage. So going to them is a bad option. However, if you are in love already, no harm seeking their advice. In fact one can even approach friends who already had love marriage (Successful). Well that’s not all, love marriages are in trend now. People are not interested to know to whom you are marrying to, rather they want to know whether its love or arranged. Irony of life!

Coming to the concept of arranged marriage, well it’s a roller coaster ride for a girl as well as the boy. Initial step is to search, lots of time alliances are matched in some relatives wedding itself. However, we have paid matrimonial sites too and believe me they are genuine (not all). (Few matrimonial sites offer free subscription to beautiful females too). Parents insist on having a portfolio done from good photographers (ask them to pay for Good pictures too). I believe 50% of the readers reading this article must have got their portfolio done. No shame to admit. I am one of them (My father paid). Well, selection of the right candidate becomes difficult. It is very difficult than searching a job. After short listing the candidate (if and only if you are lucky), meeting is the next step. Before that background check is must. There are profiles with fake identity too. So beware (Caveat). First girl and boy would meet, then meeting again (if they really want to go ahead). Finally deciding to spend life together (only in two or three meetings?). Wait a second, we are forgetting the elders. They play a very crucial part and their nod is the apex of all to go ahead with the relation. Also this shows respect for elders too. On a serious note, elders blessing is must to start a new life.

Finally the time arrive when elders decide to meet. Usually such meetings take place at bride house only. Sunday evenings are considered to be the best day for it (being a holiday). Girl’s family has to make so many arrangements from sweets to snacks to cleaning the house also. Remember each and everything is observed (even how fast/ slow you talk).  After their arrival, girl is asked to come to meet her would be family (in case elders give green signal). This journey isn’t simple however, it is beautiful if the partner chosen turns out to be perfect (perfect as per individual choice). A little adjustment from both the end will work and that doesn’t mean one have to adjust the entire life (Keep in mind).

On discussing about arrange marriage, one thought came to my mind. Is there any guarantee of marriage being successful? Well, the answer will vary from person to person. No one guarantees that. Newly wedded couples have different perception about marriage to that who are married for more than 10 years and so on. Also I have seen people ending up marriages after spending 30 odd years. So, point is no one will guarantee your marriage. It is you who have to take proper care of the relationship and decide about taking steps in each phase of life.

Love, Trust & Respect are the three important factors one must develop. This is how the journey will begin. Two strangers (in case of arrange marriage) decide to tie knots and spend their life happily ever after. Well, if it is a life then there won’t be only happiness. Sorrow, pain, anger, fights and happiness are all mould in package called life. There is no mantra for successful marriage; it is up to the couple how they take it. Respect your partner (parents too), give him all your love (am sure he will return same love with interests), have trust on him (on yourself too). Life will be simply amazing and try to live your life on three successful Mantras.

·         

     Best of luck. A new world is awaiting to welcome you – For those who are going to tie knots soon (Arranged/ Love);

·         Well done. Keep it up. You inspire us – For already married couple (Arranged/ Love);

·         Don’t lose hope. All the best – For those who are searching

P.S.: For all the lovely ladies who are going to marry soon, please watch 27 Dresses (one of my personal favorite) before your marriage. A Hollywood movie starring the very pretty Ms. Katherine Heigl and the cutes Mr. James Marsden.

Stay tuned for the upcoming article… All about courtship :P

Tribute to our World…Maa

Tribute to our World…Maa

Volume I: My Mother, My World!

Mom is the world. Mother and world are interlinked together. Since our childhood we know only one person (some are not that fortunate too); and that one person is our mother. She cuddles us, cares for us and do what not thing just to make sure her child is sleeping peacefully or playing happily and etc...

What made me write this article? My Mother offcourse!!! Hold on! Not only my mother but my nephews mother too, my friends Mom, my colleagues Mom, my neighbours Mother and all the mothers  who are existing or have existed in the universe.

            One morning I left as usual for work and I kept walking until a lady came running to me asking for change of 50 Rupees. She must be in her early 40s and looked tired, disgusted. I quickly removed my wallet digging into my handbag in hurry and before I could count exact 5 notes of 10 each, she flipped out the money impatiently and exchanged the 50 rupee note on my other hand. I didn’t bother to see what she was upto as I was really running late to catch the train. Fortunately, I got the train and the morning incident vanished from my thoughts. In the office, while I was checking mails, that unusual face kept coming to and fro on my mind. I tried concentrating on work rather then thinking about that lady, who was she? No one! I said to myself.

It was almost 9 pm when I returned back home, I was walking towards my resident compound and there I could see that lady again. She was standing there with the same tired and disgusted expression. I decided not to look there and kept walking with my head down. She followed me and I started walking faster than her. She began taking big steps to match mine and I started running. She decided to run and I could do nothing but run more faster and there I was hit by the huge iron gate of my society compound. She came for the rescue before I could collapse. Madam? Madam? She was shouting with a worried tone. The moment it got hit on my forehead, I could only see a big bulb of 100 watts in front of my eyes, a rare blur version of a bulb.

I responded to that lady’s voice as my eyes were closed for that very moment. She helped me to get up and open my eyes. On regaining consciousness, my question was straight to her as to why was she following me? Madam, I wanted to say you thank you for the morning. If you would have not helped me, my son would have gone to school without tiffin and I could not see that. No mother would want, I said to myself. I nodded my head and smiled.

It was little strange for me but my thoughts and mind were not in a situation to investigate further. I will leave, thank you for the help..ummm’ I said to that lady and began walking towards  the entrance of my apartment. Tanu..my name is Tanu and I stay there (she points towards the society adjacent to my society which has 20 buildings) and she walked towards it.

Next morning I could not go to office due to my headache and I decided to sleep more. The doorbell rings and I get to see the time; its 2 PM in the afternoon and I rushed to open the door. Hello, my name is Ashee Patel and I stay in the next society. I said ‘Ok. How may I help you? (confused and half asleep)

The other you had met my mom and let me tell you she is the best Mother in this world’ Ashee speaks almost in tears.

I quickly manage to hand over the tissues to her and she continues…

Really sorry for my moms behaviour’ she speaks again.

I am totally confused. Will you please stop crying and tell me why are you sorry? I am at home on my sick leave so please you better leave.

My mother is not educated, a very simple lady with good heart and she recently shifted here from my native, Baroda, Gujarat. Lately, she behaves absurd sometimes but that doesn’t mean she has no one to take care of. I have not seen my mother but her since I have been growing up. My chachi says she would not love me as the moment she gives birth to her own child. But you know what? I seriously don’t, but please go on… m listening.

I want to give her so much of love and respect that she doesn’t realizes that I am her step daughter. Whatever she is doing for me is absolutely commendable and she is amazingly sweet. I have never seen the person who gave me birth neither my father has shown me any of her picture. I believe he did this for my better tomorrow; for our better tomorrow and am glad that he did.

I don’t know why I told you this but I would never like someone laughing back at my mother’ she said in a stern voice. My mom is my world and I love her’ she sings. I was here because I have seen you talking with my mother.

I am so amazed that you shared your story with me and you know what you are the world’s best daughter. I am sure she must be very proud of you’ I happily told her.

Ashee took my leave and quickly left for her home. She had directly come from school to my place to meet me and share her story. More than that she wanted to tell me how much she loves and cares about her. A little girl who is just 8 years old, came to me just to say that I should behave with her mother. Ashee might misunderstood me with other people. She thought I think the same way as other do about her mom. Ashee’s innocence say it all. A child do not  know the difference between step mother and real one and am glad that they do not know. I wish all of us think the same way as Ashee does… with a pure heart.

P.S.: Stay tuned.

The Empty Relationship

THE EMPTY RELATIONSHIP … 

   Love is in the air … is doing gaga over peoples face book, BBM and whats app status.

Do they really know what love is? Well, it depends on person to person. For some it is attraction, some finds physical pleasure while many of them just love because they need a companion to crave on and have the benefit of. On the other hand, very few are there who actually welcomes the pain and beautiful feeling of love to cherish their life.

  Love can only happen between two opposite individuals.

Answer to it remains a big question mark. Let us find a way...

It can be among two opposite gender friends and it can be between a mother-son or father-daughter or siblings too.

Love has no definition; neither has it had any limitations to stop.

    Today we are living in material and practical world.  The scenario is different now.  So far so good is hardly seen and if seen whether it will become successful is doubtful every time.  Nobody thinks of having a sustained relationship, they are fine even if their partner terminate the agreement of love. 

     For instance, college babies are immature when they choose a wrong person however; they are called as geeks and nerds if they do not have one partner (pattern of college life)

Definition of love has become very unrealistic these days. Nobody cares whether your partner loves you or not. They only care about their security and safety (hidden fact).

    Sometimes I feel like going back to the olden days where raj kapoor can be seen singing pyaar hua ikraar hua with nargis as well one can notice how shammi kapoor expresses his grievances to sadhana in dil ke zharoko me tujhko bithaake …. Those were the beautiful songs with meaning and perfect time picturised in the movie and so people of that time have cherished their memories and happiness with these songs. 

   

      Today, it has changed.  Movies are still source of entertainment but the entertainment part has been treasured so much that even Vidya Balan had to commit in one of her movies that entertainment rocks! Relationship has become the empty castle of love where anybody can enter and exit without any concern. Breakups and patch ups are in trend. Bollywood plays a very important role in encouraging youngsters, no offence made as such. People are bound to get attracted to what is not good. Initially, love dances all over you and slowly but gradually you get distracted with the terms and conditions (ye nai karna, who nahi karna, jaanu ye, jaanu who----Period!)

   

   All the best to those who are in a steady relationship and good luck (try your luck even harder) to those who just experienced a breakup.

  It was just like an other day of my life as I was speculating something special has to happen.

Surprisingly my cell beeps, his message. Splendid!

I was aware of the fact, he would some day. Friends teasing were limited until he messaged. It got worsed as it all got public.

   We don’t care!!!!! (We said to each other and continued to remain together)

Bad mouths came with good mouths. Few hearts were happy to see us together while many went outrageous.

  I simply knew what I wanted at that moment. It was he…

Wasn’t aware whether it was love, affection, or attraction... whatever it may be, I was happy at that moment

  Memories of him……. an hour spend with him seemed a whole life sometimes it would flash like a minute. I myself was CONFUSED about my status with him a life.

May be I never wanted to confess or may be he always wanted me to confess 1^st.

      Love comes with terms conditions of which both we were unaware and it took us very far…. (Before entering into agreement of love, both the parties are requested to read all the terms and conditions as it are binding on both the parties after execution).

      MY WORLD OF his…..only4u

             Absolutely impossible to forget the aroma coming out of him, it makes me insane sometimes. Hate those who used to be around him always. Told you terms and conditions.

 An hour spend with him was always memorable for me…movie hall or college cafeteria or may be the wait for the train at railway platform…ahh…those were the dazzling flash which I urge for.

  moment spent is nowhere to be found….nowadays my heart  pumps  nevertheless my soul is somewhere in the cafeteria or just about the platform waiting to have glance of those beautiful memories which I had once enjoyed and now am craving it for ……

                    Only 4u…I went away…leaving my soul in the cafeteria….in the college campus…thanks for those lovely 5 star treats, calling me for hours, and occasionally waiting for me…. I did only4u…..