Marriage Journey (Part I)

Let us talk about Arrange marriage…

Marriages are made in heaven and celebrated on earth – Anonymous (quoted since ages)

In India, we have different states, religions, caste etc. Here, Marriage is between two families. When it comes to marriage, you have relatives who turn out to be your biggest enemy. Friends become your savior by advising on how to handle such situations. Also, it depends on what category your friends falls into. Married or Unmarried. It is obvious married friend will drag you to her side and unmarried (single) will give you tips/advantages of being single. The most dangerous are unmarried who in a relationship. They are already struggling for their own marriage and if you go asking for advise, you may simply get a negative feedback if you are planning to opt for arrange marriage. So going to them is a bad option. However, if you are in love already, no harm seeking their advice. In fact one can even approach friends who already had love marriage (Successful). Well that’s not all, love marriages are in trend now. People are not interested to know to whom you are marrying to, rather they want to know whether its love or arranged. Irony of life!

Coming to the concept of arranged marriage, well it’s a roller coaster ride for a girl as well as the boy. Initial step is to search, lots of time alliances are matched in some relatives wedding itself. However, we have paid matrimonial sites too and believe me they are genuine (not all). (Few matrimonial sites offer free subscription to beautiful females too). Parents insist on having a portfolio done from good photographers (ask them to pay for Good pictures too). I believe 50% of the readers reading this article must have got their portfolio done. No shame to admit. I am one of them (My father paid). Well, selection of the right candidate becomes difficult. It is very difficult than searching a job. After short listing the candidate (if and only if you are lucky), meeting is the next step. Before that background check is must. There are profiles with fake identity too. So beware (Caveat). First girl and boy would meet, then meeting again (if they really want to go ahead). Finally deciding to spend life together (only in two or three meetings?). Wait a second, we are forgetting the elders. They play a very crucial part and their nod is the apex of all to go ahead with the relation. Also this shows respect for elders too. On a serious note, elders blessing is must to start a new life.

Finally the time arrive when elders decide to meet. Usually such meetings take place at bride house only. Sunday evenings are considered to be the best day for it (being a holiday). Girl’s family has to make so many arrangements from sweets to snacks to cleaning the house also. Remember each and everything is observed (even how fast/ slow you talk).  After their arrival, girl is asked to come to meet her would be family (in case elders give green signal). This journey isn’t simple however, it is beautiful if the partner chosen turns out to be perfect (perfect as per individual choice). A little adjustment from both the end will work and that doesn’t mean one have to adjust the entire life (Keep in mind).

On discussing about arrange marriage, one thought came to my mind. Is there any guarantee of marriage being successful? Well, the answer will vary from person to person. No one guarantees that. Newly wedded couples have different perception about marriage to that who are married for more than 10 years and so on. Also I have seen people ending up marriages after spending 30 odd years. So, point is no one will guarantee your marriage. It is you who have to take proper care of the relationship and decide about taking steps in each phase of life.

Love, Trust & Respect are the three important factors one must develop. This is how the journey will begin. Two strangers (in case of arrange marriage) decide to tie knots and spend their life happily ever after. Well, if it is a life then there won’t be only happiness. Sorrow, pain, anger, fights and happiness are all mould in package called life. There is no mantra for successful marriage; it is up to the couple how they take it. Respect your partner (parents too), give him all your love (am sure he will return same love with interests), have trust on him (on yourself too). Life will be simply amazing and try to live your life on three successful Mantras.

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     Best of luck. A new world is awaiting to welcome you – For those who are going to tie knots soon (Arranged/ Love);

·         Well done. Keep it up. You inspire us – For already married couple (Arranged/ Love);

·         Don’t lose hope. All the best – For those who are searching

P.S.: For all the lovely ladies who are going to marry soon, please watch 27 Dresses (one of my personal favorite) before your marriage. A Hollywood movie starring the very pretty Ms. Katherine Heigl and the cutes Mr. James Marsden.

Stay tuned for the upcoming article… All about courtship :P