Let us talk about Arrange marriage…
Marriages
are made in heaven and celebrated on earth –
Anonymous (quoted since ages)
In
India, we have different states, religions, caste etc. Here, Marriage is
between two families. When it comes to marriage, you have relatives who turn
out to be your biggest enemy. Friends become your savior by advising on how to
handle such situations. Also, it depends on what category your friends falls
into. Married or Unmarried. It is obvious married friend will drag you to her
side and unmarried (single) will give you tips/advantages of being single. The
most dangerous are unmarried who in a relationship. They are already struggling
for their own marriage and if you go asking for advise, you may simply get a
negative feedback if you are planning to opt for arrange marriage. So going to
them is a bad option. However, if you are in love already, no harm seeking
their advice. In fact one can even approach friends who already had love
marriage (Successful). Well that’s not all, love marriages are in trend now.
People are not interested to know to whom you are marrying to, rather they want
to know whether its love or arranged. Irony of life!
Coming
to the concept of arranged marriage, well it’s a roller coaster ride for a girl
as well as the boy. Initial step is to search, lots of time alliances are
matched in some relatives wedding itself. However, we have paid matrimonial sites too and believe me they are genuine (not
all). (Few matrimonial sites offer free
subscription to beautiful females too). Parents insist on having a
portfolio done from good photographers (ask
them to pay for Good pictures too). I believe 50% of the readers reading
this article must have got their portfolio done. No shame to admit. I am one of
them (My father paid). Well,
selection of the right candidate becomes difficult. It is very difficult than
searching a job. After short listing the candidate (if and only if you are lucky), meeting is the next step. Before
that background check is must. There are profiles with fake identity too. So
beware (Caveat). First girl and boy
would meet, then meeting again (if they
really want to go ahead). Finally deciding to spend life together (only in two or three meetings?). Wait a
second, we are forgetting the elders. They play a very crucial part and their
nod is the apex of all to go ahead with the relation. Also this shows respect
for elders too. On a serious note, elders blessing is must to start a new life.
Finally
the time arrive when elders decide to meet. Usually such meetings take place at
bride house only. Sunday evenings are considered to be the best day for it (being a holiday). Girl’s family has to
make so many arrangements from sweets to snacks to cleaning the house also.
Remember each and everything is observed (even
how fast/ slow you talk). After
their arrival, girl is asked to come to meet her would be family (in case elders give green signal). This
journey isn’t simple however, it is beautiful if the partner chosen turns out
to be perfect (perfect as per individual choice).
A little adjustment from both the end will work and that doesn’t mean one have
to adjust the entire life (Keep in mind).
On
discussing about arrange marriage, one thought came to my mind. Is there any
guarantee of marriage being successful? Well, the answer will vary from person
to person. No one guarantees that. Newly wedded couples have different
perception about marriage to that who are married for more than 10 years and so
on. Also I have seen people ending up marriages after spending 30 odd years.
So, point is no one will guarantee your marriage. It is you who have to take
proper care of the relationship and decide about taking steps in each phase of
life.
Love,
Trust & Respect are the three important factors one must develop. This is
how the journey will begin. Two strangers (in case of arrange marriage) decide
to tie knots and spend their life happily ever after. Well, if it is a life
then there won’t be only happiness. Sorrow, pain, anger, fights and happiness
are all mould in package called life. There is no mantra for successful marriage; it is up to the couple how they
take it. Respect your partner (parents
too), give him all your love (am sure
he will return same love with interests), have trust on him (on yourself too). Life will be simply
amazing and try to live your life on three successful Mantras.
·
Best of luck. A new world is awaiting to welcome you – For those who are going to tie knots soon
(Arranged/ Love);
·
Don’t lose hope. All the best – For
those who are searching
P.S.: For all the lovely ladies who are
going to marry soon, please watch 27 Dresses (one of my personal favorite) before
your marriage. A Hollywood movie starring the very pretty Ms. Katherine Heigl
and the cutes Mr. James Marsden.
Stay tuned for the upcoming article… All about courtship :P
1 comment:
so whats your take?
:)
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